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According to the 2003 U.S. Census Bureau, there are 3.1 million single black mothers in comparison to the 353,000 single black fathers in America.
The lack of fathers in our social structure is becoming more apparent every day.
Many children, such as me, have been blessed to have a caring, loving and strong father — not just a sperm donor.
However, others have another song to sing.
I've never understood why it is so hard for someone who calls himself a man to step up and take ownership of his responsibilities.
Several of my male peers have a child or two, and I honestly can say most of them take care of their children, rather than just being statistics.
What others fail to realize is that a child support check and a scheduled visit is not a substitution for taking care of your child.
It is not that simple and it is not supposed to be.
In the eyes of a child, the man is intended to be a provider, strong post, and make dreams come true.
Men help shape their children's lives, personalities, and overall outlooks on life.
What you do as a parent is your child's example of what to do and what not to do as he or she grows up.
How do you expect to teach or discipline when your child does not respect you?
No kid is going to listen to someone who did not contribute to their upbringing.
Instead, you put it in the hands of their mother, grandmother or aunt, rather than saying, "Yes! I helped bring you in this world, so I should do my part."
Some men are not all to blame.
Of course the mother of the child plays some part in the role of an absent father.
Couples sometimes either break up or they just had a buddy relationship and no longer want to be intimate.
Often, because of a broken heart, the mother will use the child as bait to trap a man who does not want to be with her.
As a matter of fact, women, stop trying to use your child to get the attention of a man.
You are hurting not just yourself, but your child as well.
Some men who want to be in their child's life cannot because the mother may threaten to take the child away if the father does not conform to her demands.
Not everything is about you!
When the baby is born or when the mother finds out she is pregnant, it is about the child and no longer about the parents' relationship.
But men, do not use the mother's actions as an excuse not to take responsibility.
Do what you have to do to be the father your child needs.
The worst feeling is when your child is calling another man daddy because you refused to step up to the plate.
You may not have wanted a child, but the mistake was in the act, not in the reproduction.
My final advice is to put your selfish ways aside and help by being a father and not a sperm donor.
Contribute to your child's life and make their dreams into a memorable reality.
Believe me, your child just wants your time, because the simplest things in life are the most cherished.
Be a man and a father.
Be a woman and a mother.
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