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I'm tired of hearing the phrase, "I'm a strong black woman."
I've never heard someone say, "I'm a strong white woman, or strong Latin woman."
It's as if being a black woman means you have no breaking point. You are expected to be the independent, career-minded, classy, flashy woman who does not need any help.
The reality of the situation is, we're all human beings and cannot handle life's stresses alone.
It was not until after I finished my women's history course that I understood the phrase better.
It seems to be often misconstrued.
I say this because many black women use "strong black woman" as a way to validate their struggle.
It makes them feel empowered.
The many struggles that women encounter every day may be the hassle of raising the children, going to work, and taking care of finances and domestic matters.
You may be experiencing these matters; we all know some women who have to take on these challenges every day.
Historically, the phrase "strong black woman" came during the antebellum slave period.
When the slave owner sexually exploited black women, raping them and forcing them to bear his children, they were called "strong" because they were expected to handle everything.
This caused them to be emotionally, mentally, physically and verbally abused.
Today, many people measure their worth based on how much they can take.
How can a human being validate her strength by being abused, controlled, and manipulated?
Although slave owners married white women, this did not mean that they stopped sexually exploiting women slaves living in their houses.
Two women in the same household were expected to handle different levels of oppression.
This goes back to why the phrase is used today to embrace the struggles we face and the burdens that come with it.
In today's communities, we glorify single motherhood with the term "baby momma."
In my view, this term implies that the woman is removed from society.
When two people procreate, how can you view the woman as just the person who bore the children?
Her feelings were considered while you were sexually intimate, but once the child is born, she must bear all responsibilities without breaking down.
I hate it when people say, "I don't need no man."
We need men in our families because no parent was meant to walk this road solo.
I don't see how struggling to no end makes you feel empowered.
I would want some assistance and would be proud to demand it.
Struggling by yourself does not make you independent.
You cannot walk around acting like you do not need help.
Women need men, especially for support systems with our children.
Family and friends are valuable for supporting any woman.
You can have all the degrees, the money, nice cars, and be the most successful black woman in the world and still be unhappy.
Let's stop wearing the "S" on our chest as a badge of honor instead of being cognizant of how to fix the badge. "S" on my chest.
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