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It’s not unfamiliar for a man to hear a woman bragging about her “independence.” But she may do so while also requiring that her potential mate be independent himself. But is she truly independent? And what is independence?
Independence is simply being able to do for oneself without having to depend on another for livelihood or subsistence.
In one instance I met a young woman who was extremely anxious to leave the nest. She wanted to be “independent” — or so she said. As she saw it, living with her mother was keeping her from this goal. She had a child and didn’t feel it was right to still be living under her mother’s roof. So she decided to go to her local social security office and get the government to fund a new living situation.
Now that she has “her own place,” she feels free enough to go on challenging men to go out and get their own. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. In many instances, men cannot reap the same benefits that women can from the government in regards to housing. Even if this were possible for men, you could never consider it to be true independence.
By leaving her mother and getting government aid, this young lady had simply switched the terms of her dependency.
One example in trends that seem to plague young Americans is their dependence on outside sources of food. Eating out every night instead of cooking your own meals isn’t truly living independently either.
Furthermore, the music that has influenced many of these individuals to sing songs praising their so-called independence has helped keep many of its listeners trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Seeing these artists in fancy clothes chanting a tune of independence while they sell you a smorgasbord of products that will eventually have you deep in debt is not helping to strengthen anyone’s independence.
It also could be argued that people depend on these artists to tell us what’s in fashion.
Individuals who do not own a home outright are dependent on banks to help them pay for their housing.
Renters depend on a landlord to give them an affordable rate to live under a roof that they do not own. Is this true independence? No. To be clear, every person in America is dependent on someone else for something. Here at NCCU we depend on financial aid, the school cafeteria, our professors and sometimes even our fellow students.
Granted, people should do all in their power not to be a hindrance or leech to the people around them.
It is to be commended when you are able to do for yourself, but it is no crime to be dependent on others. Men and women who choose to stay at home should not be frowned upon.
In countries such as Italy and Spain, many adults have chosen to live in the same house as their parents.
The reason for this is simply money and convenience. In today’s economy, I expect to see more of this kind of behavior in the U.S. Will people launch attacks on men and women who want to live at home and assist their poor old single parents who would be all alone if it were not for their children?
Would these same individuals, in their old age, want to live alone if there were another option?
Is it wrong for people to stay home and save their money until they has finished school and gotten their own career or married?
The truth is that women who accuse men (or vice versa) of being dependent are probably not so independent themselves.
Their constant complaining about the opposite sex not being independent could and should, in many instances, be looked at as hypocritical.
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